


Tentacle Porn

by Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling)



Series: Secrets and its sidestories [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Female Friendship, Friendship, Gen, No Tentacle Sex, Silly, Venomous Tentacula
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-05
Updated: 2004-05-05
Packaged: 2018-02-20 16:31:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2435483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edenfalling/pseuds/Elizabeth%20Culmer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ginny and Hermione talk about Herbology.  Extremely silly, mostly harmless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tentacle Porn

**Author's Note:**

> This ficlet was, once upon a time, the original idea for [Parseltongue](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2435444). Yes, really. No, I'm not sure how my brain works either.

Ginny walked into Hermione's room with an expression halfway between bemused and disgusted and sat on Lavender's bed, drawing her knees up to her chest.

"Hermione?" she said.

"Yes?" answered Hermione, setting her Transfiguration book on her lap and wondering what on earth could put someone like Ginny into such a state.

"You're Muggle-born, right?"

"Yes," said Hermione again.

"Have you ever heard of tentacle porn?"

" _What?_ "

"Tentacle porn. I asked Ruth in Potions why she always gets a funny look on her face when we pass the Venomous Tentacula in our evening Herbology sessions, and she told me about tentacle porn."

Hermione clutched her book, and asked, voice pitched a bit higher than she preferred, "What, exactly, is tentacle porn, and why does Ruth Gelfand know about it?"

Ginny shrugged. "Ruth watches some Japanese thing -- aminay? -- and she said she's seen ads for it. It's kind of... well, you have a thing with tentacles, and it goes after girls, and, well... _you know_."

"Oh," said Hermione.

"And she said that the Venomous Tentacula reminded her of the tentacle monsters," said Ginny, "which is why she won't go near it."

"Oh," said Hermione again, trying very hard not to picture the mechanics of Ruth's fear.

"Then she said that if it ever did, well, the venom is transferred by contact, so you'd need to apply the antidote everywhere it touched you, and that would be, well..." Ginny trailed off.

"I... there would probably be a way to do that yourself," offered Hermione weakly. "I don't think Madam Pomfrey's quite used to that sort of thing. Though she does have contraceptive potions."

"She does?"

"Yes, in the third drawer of her desk. I looked once, while I was recovering from a bad Polyjuice Potion; she'd just given a bottle to one of the Raven--" Hermione cut herself off with a horrified expression. "You don't need to know that! You're only fourteen!"

Ginny grinned. "So? At least I don't fall to pieces when someone tells me about tentacle porn!"

Hermione threw her Transfiguration book at her friend.

**Author's Note:**

> For those who may be wondering who on earth Ruth Gelfand is, she's a very minor original character from [Secrets](http://archiveofourown.org/works/882572/chapters/1699723), my retelling of CoS from Ginny's point of view.


End file.
